Anaestesia (Cutting Teeth)/Whiplash

Dear James,

How long before this is used as an advert for, I don't know, car insurance? Why can't we metal kids be in on a TV joke or two?

There are many things to recommend this video: Cliff Burton's declaration of ZZ Top love; Dave Mustaine's presentation of Cliff Burton "on the four-string motherfucker"- that's a bass guitar to you and me; one of Cliff Burton's early solos for the band, which ended up on the album as Anaestesia (Pulling Teeth), because obviously that's the first thing you think of when you hear a bass solo; and finally, a song so fast it's nigh on impossible to work out what's going on. And yet Cliff refuses to use a plectrum! That's what I was aiming for in my 1990 bass lessons. I fell well short. Started using a pick, like Duff McKagan. Sigh.

You can admire the young Hetfield's Whiplash lyrics here. It's the only Metallica song to mention "Metallica". There's a pub quiz question for you.

I could take Guns n Roses tapes on access days with my dad, but Metallica had to stay at home.

This is taken from the classic video, Cliff Em All, a tribute to the dead bassist. Jason Newstead must have been gutted that he didn't get a similar tribute, although to be fair he didn't quite die enough, he just went off in a huff. And of all the metal albums and videos I sold at university for beer money, this and Master of Puppets are the two I regret the most.

Sweating Bullets

Dear James,

The Megadeth video catalogue is ripe with humour. I could've posted the brilliant "Peace Sells...but who's buying?" or the equally comical "Go To Hell", but I chose this one for Dave Mustaine's impeccable impression of a man pretending to be mad.

The song also begs the question: why does Dave Mustaine sing like a man on the toilet trying to force one out?

I was at Rock World in Manchester in 2004 when this song came on. A very hirsute gentleman got very excited and launched into his very own Mustaine impersonation. As far as party pieces go, it was right up there with my dad reciting Vincent Price's lines from Thriller.

As a youth, Dave Mustaine was a drug dealer and one of his clients paid him in Judas Priest and Iron Maiden records. Try slipping a "Seventh Son of a Seventh Son" LP into a club and exchanging it for a couple of pills. Works every time.

Dave Mustaine is most fondly remembered, of course, for his cameo appearance in the comedy "Some Kind of Monster". Mustaine claims he withdrew his permission to use the footage of him in the romcom, and says they edited out the bit where Lars Ulrich storms out of a room crying. Poor Lars. Megadeth's Wikipedia page has a list of all the people Dave Mustaine has feuds with. It's a long list. Poor Dave.

Dear Daniel,

I thought Dave Mustaine came across as quite needy in that film. I felt for him. I also notice that he repeatedly looks a lot like Thom Yorke in the video you posted. Not always, just repeatedly. I would point out certain times when this happens but that would mean listening to the song through again and, frankly, Megadeth already owe me far too many wasted minutes.