Wouldn't it be Nice

Dear 78records' friends,

Our hiatus appears to be nearing it's end. We'll soon be back and trying to impersonate John Peel while infringing any number of copyright laws. Until then, here's the Beach Boys:

Five Star Day

Dear James,

One of the many joys of Pandora.com before it got taken away from non-US users was finding bands no one had ever heard of and which you never then heard of again in any media. Such is the case with Aqueduct, whose Wikipedia page reads like it was written by David Terry himself, and the band is so obscure that Wikipedia hasn't bothered to look into it. I downloaded their "I Sold Gold" album nearly three years ago and I haven't heard them mentioned by anyone else anywhere. They'd be my favourite band ever if it wasn't for the fact that the album isn't all that great shakes, and I've spent the last three years listening to my other big pandora find, Dr. Dog, over and over again.

As a Wilko fan you'll know that all average albums by average American indie bands have one great song. Yankee Hotel Foxtrot has Jesus, etc. and I Sold Gold has Five Star Day. I worked out how to play it on the piano the other day, and it's really easy, to the extent that I've now completely gone off the song and have nothing to say about. Instead I'll tell you about the film "Five Star Day", about a man who sets out to disprove astrology, like you do, by getting together with three people born at the same hospital and on the same night as him. It's a promising premise, but the execution is poor and the trailer looks like a cheese-fest made by a first-year film student.

Interestingly, the first line of Aqueduct's "Five Star Day" is

I don't believe in astrology
but you can read me your horoscope
I like to hear your voice.

which as far as first lines go is write up there with Heroes and Villains.

Two Weeks

Dear Daniel,

It looks like I've been away from here for a bit, but I think it's been less than 2 weeks. I've been spending my time constructively, though, and listening to the likes of Grizzly Bear and the new album by Smog's Bill Callahan - beautiful. I won a music quiz in the new Leeds music venue the Nation of Shopkeepers, but I didn't know the answer to the question "Which American group were originally called the Pendletones?" I've attended an anti-BNP demonstration. I've met a german man who has more control of my life than I really appreciate.

By the way, in reference to your post on christian rock below, you may like to know that since you have been away from these shores Songs of Praise has become a lot like a Petra gig. Do you know Songs of Praise reminds me of you dad's front room in where-everhelived?

By the other way:



Since we last spoke, Little Boots has gone from strength to strength, debuting at number 13 in the UK charts with the above song. I hear it at least twice a day on our radio station and I still love it. I don't like the video, though, with it's ironic "dance of the destitute". Clearly, Victoria's success is testament to the tastemaker-like power of this blog, which posted about her ooo ages ago. Equally clearly, it's testament to the power I have to make people I am acquainted with become successful by doing - precisely - nothing and speaking to them - at most - rarely.

When are you going to become a successful sitcom writer?



Dear James?

What do you mean, when am I going to become a successful sitcom writer? I already am one. The whole success lies in getting the job in the first place. The rest is just sitting around, drinking tea and cashing cheques.

That would have been my dad's front room in Bramhall, although all his front rooms look the same to me. He has to move every 3 years to be whether the trendiest part of West Stockport is. He's now in Cheadle Hulme. You'll be glad to hear he's finished his conservatoire.

Am I allowed not to be impressed by that Little Boots song? I mean, are you very good friends with her or did you just kind of meet her once and want to give off the impression that you know her? Either way, it strikes me that you take away her piano and her tenori-on and you're left with something very ordinary. But don't tell her I said that, she seems like a nice girl.

I was into Grizzly Bear years before you were. Well, Karo the Norwegian sent me an MP3 of one of their songs in 2006, I downloaded the album for free and then never listened to it, same thing.

Here's some Songs of Praise for those poor souls who've never seen it.



Dear Daniel,

Do you know that Adam from Adam and Joe made that as part of a sketch show which the BBC decided not to commission? I would like to point commissioning editors to the shows "2 pints of lager and a packet of crisps" and "The Horne and Corden show" and say: "Shame on you"...

As for being allowed to criticise something, when did proximity to me stop you from saying you weren't keen? You told me you didn't like my last album...

(Although you were very nice about it...)

Dear James,

Fair enough. So when's your solo album coming out?

Surf's Up

Dear James Dear Elsa,

Yes yes, I was going to post but we had a problem with the computers and I wanted to listen to all your posts and post witty, pithy comments like i do but I couldn't, so I'm going to do a post from memory (I have a list on youtunes for such purposes). It starts with this wonderful, slightly out of tune demo of Surf's Up with just Mr. Wilson on the piano. It's so good, youtunes won't let you embed it.

There would then a lengthy speech about my reasons for on the whole disliking the Surf's Up album which would end in my not very shocking statement that I consider "Disney Girls" to be the best song on that album. It reminds me of being stopped at Sao Paolo airport because they thought my passport was a forgery. Funny how that's a happy memory. Anyway, here's Bruce Johnston (real name, Benjamin Baldwin) playing his pretty song on the Old Grey Whistle Test.



Not a great version, so here's Bruce Johnston's best song ever, sadly not featured on Surf's Up, even though it's been covered by over 200 artists and has been sold 25 million times (on album and single). Sing along at home now!

Dear James dear Danny

A long time without writing in your maravilloso blog, i was wondering if any of you both is from Leeds... yes? no?
I am from Amanda Palmer, justo love her and want to share her beautiful punk cabaret...
elfwoman









Dear Elsa,

Well this is quite weird. A song about Dirty Leeds? No, no, no, I won't have that on my blog. For some idea about Leeds United you could do worse then read Vs by Tony Harrison and then watch or read The Damned United. Although if you manage to finish that poem, you're more patient than I am. It goes on forever.

James will tell you he is from Leeds, he's lived there for the last 11 years or so. I have to wait another year before I can tell people I'm from Buenos Aires. James recently said the rudest word in the English language live on air at Leeds radio station, Radio Aire. And he's supposed to be the newsreader! James will also tell you he's northern. He was born in Winchester and lived most of his formative years in Jersey, before seeing sense at age 18 and moving to Sheffield. He says the years spent in Jersey don't count, as they're "abroad", so by his mathemetics (and, note this, he has a degree in mathemetics) he's lived longer in the north than he has in the south and this qualifies him to play for Yorkshire. Probably at snooker, given that as I type these words, James is almost definitely wearing slippers, watching the snooker and thinking about putting in that application for the allotment. It's a good life, being James.

In continuation of my above post, I should tell you that I was born in Sheffield, which is in South Yorkshire. I was at Sao Paolo airport three years ago, waiting for everyone to get on the plane before I got on. To kill time, I was enjoying The Beach Boys' "Disney Girls" on my MP3 player of choice, and smiling benignly while the airport staff waited for me to get a move on. When I got to passport control, they took me aside and told me they believed my passport to be a forgery. I'd got it in Buenos Aires, it was quite likely. Just then one of the passport men looked at my place of birth and said "Sheffield! I've been there! He's all right, let him through". Pretty good, eh? And I get to play for Yorkshire!

When I Grow Up To Be A Man

Cher James,

Aujourd'hui nous ecrivons le blog en français, ainsi que La Femme Elf se sent la bienvenue. Je mirais mes favorites sur Youtube et j'ai encontrait cet abbomination là. Mais si on le pense, c'est pas trop mauvais. Il faut ne le penser.

J'ai commencé a écrir una carte au futur, a ton fils qui n'a pas nu encore. Il faut qu'il l'ouvre la journée de sa 18eme aniversaire. Ja vais faire una cassette aussi, et donc il faut que vous gardez un passe-cassettes pour le futur. Le retro, c'est chic, non?

Bon soir!

Dear Daniel,

let me get this straight: Today you're writing the brog in french, to welcome the Elf woman. You miraculously favoured Youtube and you connected with central european time, an abomination. But if you're pretentious, it's very cloudy. They're false, but not pretentious.

You've started to scribe on futuristic card and you find a £100 fills it, without the need to do it all over again. They're false: as if a tour round an art gallery takes 18 years! Ricky does and Australian tape, and false donkeys that you guard from outdated recording equipment are the future. The past, it's a woman, right?

Dear James,

I think you've just about got the gist of that. I´ve just heard that Backstreet Boys song again. My apologies.

I wonder what she's doing tonight

Dear James,

I was just thinking, it's been three weeks since we posted a serious video. So I was going to post Glen Campbell's I Guess I'm Dumb, seeing as it was written by Brian Wilson, but I've already shown you that during our two weeks of live blogging, and I have nothing more to say about it although I've at least managed to fill up one paragraph before I try to think of something to say about Boyce and Hart, which frankly I'm going to crib from Wikipedia anyway. And it's something I've already told you as well.

So, Boyce and Hart first of all provided the inspiration for Mike Myer's wardrobe in Austin Powers, but that's a given. I like how they make it look like an album cover at the start. What I didn't know, and judging by this clip I'm not sure anyone knew, was that they wrote Last Train to Clarksville. AND that Last Train to Clarksville was a Vietnam song, Clarksville being the station troops went to to catch the cheap flights to Ho Chi Minh City, probably.

Boyce and Hart also wrote the Monkees b-side and old-favourite "Words" for The Leaves, who were the first band to release Hey Joe as a rock standard, whatever that means. As I told you on the bus to Iguazú, "Words" is a song about haemmorhoids, although I can´t remember the punchline for that one. I once lost a five pound bet to first girlfriend Lucy over the authorship of "Hey Joe". I said it was Hendrix, she said it was Billy Roberts. Turns out she wasn't completely right.

Dear Daniel,

Oh God, if ever there was inspiration for tireless search and research for the secret of time travel, it's poor Bobby Hart's expression throughout this video. He should stay at home and enjoy the PRS. Nobody should make him stand in front of a camera dressed like that, moving like that and slightly, awkwardly smiling like that. His left foot tries to make a break for it at 2'14", before the trousers put a stop to it.

Thankfully, we have a tasteful modern version made cleverly in one shot by the funny guy from the IT Crowd, Mighty Boosh and Time Trumpet, Richard Ayoade...



... which goes to show, of course, that we're a lot more wise and intelligent now than anyone was in the 60s. Stanley Unwin aside.

And just to prove that I listen to what you say, it was "words with lies inside: piles." Far more intelligent, you see, far more wise.

If You Leave Me Now

Dear James,

It feels like months since our last 1970s MOR post, so here's Chicago with one of the few classics from the year of our births. And just look at the world we were born into, where Roger Taylor lookalikes with big hair, pained expressions when they do falsetto and 12-string guitars could be top of the pops. Chicago are second only to the Beach Boys for most singles and albums released in the USA, although given the standard of some Beach Boys albums this isn't saying much.

Chicago guitarist Terry Kath's famous last words were "Don't worry, it's not loaded", just before he shot himself in the head. I can't tell if he's in this video, as Peter Cetera hogs the camera and plays the guitar solo, even though he was the bass guitarist. Typical bass guitarist.

Remarkably, Chicago started out as a jazz-influenced, guitar feedback style band and their debut album was a double, like what Frank Zappa did. This is their debut single, Questions 67 and 68.

Dear Daniel,

Having done my fair share of hanging around vinyl-only second-hand stores, I've often seen the Chicago Transit Authority record and thought there's got to be something on it of worth. The logic is kinda: this song and Hard Habit to Break show some sort of wierd songwriting talent and suggest they're a slight-bit fractious too, so maybe their early stuff is quite bizarre and exciting.

With that in mind, I was quite eager to follow the link in your last paragraph (well, I was excited about the guitar feedback bit). What a let-down. It's the same as all the stuff my mum played in the car, only worse. The best part of the video is not the video, but the youtube info bit where chicagokid1969 reveals, "It's kinda psychedelic and also a little annoying."

Also, I remember Peter "et" Cetera from the Karate Kids III power ballad video soundtrack tie-in thing, the Glory of Love. I never realised his hair was quite so... so... so... beautiful.

Dear James,

The hair's all right. I really enjoyed Questions 67 and 68, but that shows what effect marijuana has on the musical mind. Our mothers must have been so out of it. Maybe we should get them to post a post each, yeah?

Up, up and away

Dear James,

It turns out there's a new film about the Wrecking Crew which has been doing the rounds of festivals but hasn't been released yet. (For readers who've just joined us, the Wrecking Crew were a shifting group of session musicians who contributed to several major records of the 60's and 70s, see River Deep... post below). Whilst enjoying this clip I heard a snippet of this song and did a search for it and it turns out it's by The Fifth Dimension, which is odd as I was about to post their Age of Aquarius yesterday and thought better of it.

How weird were The Fifth Dimension? Look at the bloke with the beard on the left. Surely he's in the wrong business? This single, written by Jimmy Webb of "Wichita Lineman" fame, won four Grammys. Clearly, the Grammy Awards have always been a joke, it's not just a recent phenomenon.

Then I looked at their Wikipedia page and it turns out they also recorded California Soul, a song I know from Marlene Shaw's version, and which was written by songwriting team Ashford $ Simpson, who went on to have that fine 80s hit, Solid. Beardy man looks even weirder in this video:


5th Dimension also had more success with Laura Nyro songs than Laura Nyro herself. Here's them doing Nyro's Stoned Soul Picnic. There's more. 5th Dimension started out as the Hi-Fis, who split up with half of them forming Friends of Distinction, who recorded the wonderful Jenny Wants to Know.

My other previous knowledge of The 5th Dimension was from reading that Nick Drake wanted Bryter Layter to sound like Pet Sounds, Tim Buckley's Hello and Goodbye and the 5th's The Magic Garden. I don't think I was impressed with either of the latter two. I'm still trying to work out if I like the 5th in a Bacharach kind of way, or whether they're just pure cheese.

Fools

Dear Daniel,

We've all got to be careful reading Bill Drummond. Calling for a new year zero for music is all well and good if you want to make a statement about innovation or shake up some cobwebbed pre-conceptions about what music should be. But if you end up feeling that guitars and drums simply bashing out a good tune is without merit, you're going to miss out on a whole world of enjoyment.

Here is Dodos playing Fools. Another fine song from 2008 featuring guitars and drums and just as valid as Justice or Hercules and Love Affair or, for that matter, the Justified Ancients of MuMu.

Dear James,

That's the thing though, isn't it? If you say that all music is dead and you have to start all over again, you're left with a fairly unlistenable mish-mash of Gregorian chant over a remixed KLF breakbeat. In fact, Drummond gives in at the end of 17 and slips on some Pet Sounds and, oh dear, James Brown as he drives his merry way to Scotch Corner.

I liked this one more than your other song of the year. I like any stuff with funny drums. And bands that are two-pieces. Like the mighty Scroops. Must dash, the milanesas are ready.

River Deep, Mountain High

Dear James,

I've been listening to this song on repeat for the best part of the last two months, and have now worked it out on the piano, so you can all look forward to a very bad cover being posted shortly on Youtube. Tina Turner is now my favourite female singer, but I'm only saying that out of a Music Talliban inclination to dismiss all music recorded by women.

Note how this version isn't a patch on the original Phil Spector arrangement. I was reading that Phil Spector was well aware of what kind of person Ike Turner was in the recording studio, and so drew up a contract whereby the single would be credited to "Ike and Tina Turner" on the condition that Ike stayed the hell out of the studio. The single stalled at number 88 on the Billboard "crushing Spector's spirit and effectively causing him to close his record label down". Surely his spirit was further crushed on hearing Deep Purple's cover. It gets going after five minutes, after it stops trying to be the theme music from 2001.

Now, trivia time, pop-pickers. Can you tell me who or what connects this song with all the Grammy Song of the Year awards from 1966 to 1971, Good Vibrations and Mrs. Robinson? Click here for the answer.

Dear Daniel,

The first time I heard this song, it was Lenny Henry dressed as Tina Turner. Remember when the West Midlands ruled British comedy?

Deep Purple needed to add 5 minutes of nonsense to the beginning of their version to give the impression of being grown up and rock while distracting us from the fact that their rendition is pretty pedestrian and not unlike every pub rock act of the 1970s. Remember when the West Midlands ruled British rock?

Hal Blaine list of number ones is astounding. Can there be another non-Wrecking Crew musician to claim a direct link to that many? I like the suggestion that Dennis Wilson LET Hal do a large amount of drumming on Beach Boys records...

White Winter Hymnal

Dear James,
Back in August I told you you'd like Fleet Foxes and you took offense and asked me why, as if it was so easy to read you. Here are ten reasons why:

1. They have an animal in their name. Like The High Llamas. And other bands you like with animal names.
2. Stop-motion video. Duels do this all the time. So do Tool. That´s probably who you got it off.
3. Nice clean harmonies. Like the Beach Boys.
4. Moderate tambourine use. Like the Beach Boys.
5. Suprising chord change at (0:33). Like the Beach Boys.
6. That electric guitar sound that always reminds me of Hank Marvin but which seems to be awfully popular these days.
7. They've only released one album and thus have yet to disappoint with their second.
8. Audible breathing (2:10). Like Elliott Smith. And the Beach Boys.
9. "The quintet describe their music as "baroque harmonic pop jams"", it says here. Nothing says James more than baroque harmonic pop jam. In fact, that's probably an anagram of your name.
10. The Daily Telegraph called their debut album "pretty but almost pathologically unobtrusive". Just like you, again.